Despair to Hope

My brother made this awesomeness. You have to click on it for it to change...AWESOME!

Jesus works at $ Tree

Seriously, Jesus is workin at my job- Dollar Tree! He showed me today that he can work in any part of my life- even what I thought was a very boring 10 hours of my week. Here's what he's doing:

(from my original post on http://www.battlecry.com/battleplan.php?username=WolfGirl4God)

Is God faithful or what!?! I can't begin to tell you how joyful I am right now- and how happy- and amazed!! God does so much more for me than what I deserve. He is ever-loving and ever-faithful and MAN! It's just getting me pumped up thinking about him. I'm definitely taking this scripture-James 5:13 [ The Prayer of Faith ] Is any one of you in trouble? He should pray. Is anyone happy? Let him sing songs of praise- and claiming it for myself right now! I was singing worship songs all the way back from work tonight.
That's right, work. Dollar Tree. I don't talk about it much on here because well, I haven't known what to say. I haven't understood why God would want me there in the first place. This is what led me to the prayer I prayed tonight.
I was getting really sick and tired of just going to a job to be a cashier for 5 hours twice a week and make some money. God's been doing SO MUCH in my life, and a "pointless" job just didn't line up with the purpose-driven life I've wanted to have.
So there I was, in the middle of work tonight, driving in the car on my break to pick mom up, and I just came to with the Lord. "God," I said "I just don't understand. Why did you tell me that I should continue working at the Dollar Tree? I'm feeling fake there. How in the world can I be making any kind of impact for your kingdom? I mean, God, I can't really tell every customer 'Jesus loves you!' I mean, I guess I could if that's what you want. God, I just need something. Please show me how you can use me in this job. Anything, Lord- just help me because I'm gonna stick with this job and I'm trusting you've got a purpose. I just can't see it. Okay, God. I'll wait. Your will be done!"
And then He was faithful.
I get back from dropping mom off on my break and first off, God gives me a little boost in the boringness of work- my two rockin friends from youth group- Amy and Kris- walk through the doors to visit me!! Ahh, I was siked! They stayed there for nearly and hour- just chillin while I straightened stuff up and rang up customers. Thanks God, 1, for making the time go by so nicely- and giving me such awesome friends. Next, one of my coworkers, Julie, comes in to stop by and pick up a check. She sees me and embraces me with a big hug. And it was just so amazing, because the first thing she said to me was "Hey, guess what? I've been reading my Bible more." I told her that was awesome and how I'd love to hear what she's been getting from it. And then she says to me that she would love to go to my church with me (which I've been telling her about), maybe this Sunday!!! We exchanged numbers and said goodbyes and off she went. I'll tell you the story behind Julie in a second, but first, thank you God, 2, for reminding me of what you've already been doing and for working in Julie's heart. The last part of the night was something I never expected. I was sitting in the back room counting the day's money with my manager, Jack, and I got around to telling him that I wouldn't be able to work b/c I'm visiting a Bible college (Elim) at the end of January. He then told me how he had had a friend who went to Bible college and met his wife there. He also said that the marriage was having a lot of trouble. Well, then and there God just let the conversation flow and continue and it ended up that I shared with Jack the Christian perspective on marriage in a nutshell. "A man and woman have to be right with God first," I said. "They have to change themselves first and do all they can to make a good marriage. If both people do that, they are bound to end up with a better marriage." He thought it was good and agreed that people have to change themselves- and also learn to compromise and understand thier spouses thinking and such. Jack isn't married anymore, he's dating. But I know that tonight God planted a seed of Truth that just might sprout up for Jack further down the road. Thank you God, 3, for opening the lines of communication with Jack and for allowing me to minister to him in a way I never could have imagined.
So you can see for yourself, my prayer was answered! And certainly above and beyond anything I would have thought up myself. But here is a key that the Spirit led me to when all this was said and done and I was singing to the Lord on the way home:
Satan had lied to me. He had led me to forget I had even ever witnessed to Julie. He had come into my mind and made me believe a lie- that God wasn't working through me at all in my job and that it was counter-productive! And I just let Satan tell me that and I groaned and mouned whenever work day came around- wondering why in the world God had me in such a pointless job.
SO untrue. And I am so grateful that God reopened my mind and heart and showed me Truth. You see, about a month ago I met Julie, and she and another coworker had actually approached me about my faith. "We see you don't cuss," they said. "Why? Are you a Christian or something?" That led into a whole night of doctrinal discussion. Julie told me that she used to be a "good Christian girl" but the faith was never real to her and now she had gotten into such bad stuff that she feared she would never be able to "go back to God." I assured her of forgiveness, talked to her about biblical principles that applied to life-situations and moral controversies (like sex before marriage, homosexuality, etc.) She was very interested and even said that she had a Christian boyfriend she wanted to talk with more about the Bible. CRAZY amazing, right?
And yet through Satan's cunning and me letting my spiritual guard slip off through groaning and through an anxious, untrusting heart, I had forgotten to think about that when I asked God " How in the world can I be making any kind of impact for your kingdom?"
He was kind though, and patient, and tonight he showed me just what he's up to in my life. He encouraged me and lovingly gave me a wake up call. God does so much behind the scenes. When we are faithful- he's never sitting around doing nothing. God ALWAYS works through our faithfullness.
Lord, I can't express this joy. It just wells up and up and up... It reminds me of this beautiful verse you've been speaking to me:
John 4:14 ...but whoever drinks the water I give him will never thirst. Indeed, the water I give him will become in him a spring of water welling up to eternal life."

I want all that you have for me, Lord.
We serve an awesome God!

Homework catch-up

There are papers all around my head
stacked in unorderly chaos
_____________higher
__________higher
______higher
Piling,

Falling off now
Slipping, sliding to the ground
fall
____fall
_________fall

It's all in my mind,
It's just this stress!
Of undone papers,
undone work...
WORKSHEET! WORKSHEET!

Oh please, please, please.
quiet
__quiet
____quiet

No more undone papers in my head!

In my hand.
Hours darken and the desk makes noise,
From Mr. pencil scribbling into the night.
Stress, but undone done!
_______________fading
___________fading
______fading

sleep.

He is LIFE.

He is LIFE. Jan 11 2008 12:43 PM

I've been watching Joyce Meyer the past few days and I am just so blessed by the way she has given her life to the Lord- the wisdom from Him that she uses in her messages is SO right on track!

The other day she was talking about not letting your circumstances define how much you love God. Don't love God when your circumstances are great, love God because HE IS!! She spoke about going through tough times with faith and confidence- God has a different road planned for each of us. She used the example of Peter vs. John. In one jail situation, Peter was freed by angels! In John's situation, he ended up being beheaded. But yet, all was in God's awesome plan. God wants to use everything for his glory, and we must trust Him joyfully -never letting anything hinder our passion to know Him and give Him all we've got.

For me recently, life has had some struggles, but it has definitely been awesome in Jesus. the Lord has really been taking me too a deeper place and doing a lot of character building. His biggest message right now is: GOD IS REAL. When I actually start believing that with all of who I am, I will start making every decision based on that awesome truth. CRAZY, right? God, GOD is real. He's showing me the who of who HE is more and more and how that should be dramatically impacting every facet of who I am.

Yesterday was tough. I woke up anxious. I gave it to God, took His way even though it wasn't the comfy one, and guess what? He blessed me with strength and lessons and joy and confidence. The toughness was tough, but it wasn't like it is when I try to go through it on my own. I had this crazy peace about me- deep down.

One thing Joyce said in today's message was that we must know who we are in God and then live based on that instead of how others make us feel. When we feel offended, don't give into that feeling. Instead, give the offender the benefit of the doubt and go back to the truth of who you are in Christ. Never look for people to make you feel you have worth. Instead of going to church or anywhere with a "what am I gonna get from this" attitude, go with a "what am I gonna give" attitude. it's crazy living.

wow, a lot of typing today....

Jesus, how can I explain
This joy as I go through?
When I see not but certain pain,
You fix my eyes anew!
You fortifiy a confidence
All worries cannot shake.
The here, the now, the All has sense-
When I am Your's to make.

O God of all, my Who of who,
The Answer to all men,
O Great I am, life is for You.
I end where you begin!

Know my anxious thoughts

Know my anxious thoughts.
more from this post on:
http://www.battlecry.com/battleplan.php?username=WolfGirl4God

"Search me, O God, and know my heart
Test me and know my anxious thoughts
See if there is any offensive way in me
and lead me in the way everlasting."
Psalm 139:23-24

God, I need you desperately right now. I need you desperately. There is no way that any of this will come to pass if I rely on myself. No way.

"Show me your heart,
Show me your way,
Show me your glory." -Fire Fall Down (Hillsong United)

I ask you Lord, to search me and know my heart. See that it is right before and its desires are true with yours. Test me, in whatever way is best, and know my true thoughts- my anxious thoughts even. See if anything in me in offensive to you, and whatever is, take it out of me and lead me in your Way- the Way everlasting. Amen.

Ahead of me there is
A hope, future secure
For in you are my ways;
My heart is fully your's.
So keep me now in peace,
As I must walk this path,
As through you I have seen
That also Satan's wrath
Must I wage war against.
Though not all by myself,
For surely you're my strength;
My guide and surest help.
I walk now out to war,
A battle of the sky.
For not with flesh and blood
Do life's long battles lie.
My sword is in your Word,
My armor strapped secure,
My breastplate tough in righteousness,
My belt of truth endures.
My helmet of salvation
I keep tight on my head.
Your power in me overcomes,
The world in me is dead!
I'm free to live a conqueror,
To strive towards what's ahead.
Alone by Truth I'm fed;
By You alone I'm led.
Jesus.